had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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