She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
