this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
