I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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