..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
