you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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