Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
