and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
