Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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