I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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