I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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