Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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