Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
