i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
