Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
