he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
