he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
