Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
