Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
