yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
