An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
