I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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