Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
