you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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