So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
