I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
