u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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