If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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