i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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