His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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