It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
