I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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