i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
