he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize