Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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