Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
