What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
