Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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