Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
