the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
