my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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