so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
