I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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