When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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