He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A+ Viking dick
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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