so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
