I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
