we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
