You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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