Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
