There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
