awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
