I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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