we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
