i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
