She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
