I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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