The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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