No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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