Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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