I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
